For Jenni Rigby, caring has been part of everyday life for more than two decades.

A primary school teacher from Cairns, Jenni is a wife, mother of three, and carer to her eldest son, Flynn, who is 23.

Flynn lives with an intellectual disability, autism, mild cerebral palsy and epilepsy. Born at just 23 weeks’ gestation, he survived a severe brain bleed after birth that would shape many of the challenges he faces today.

Despite those challenges, Jenni describes Flynn as a loving, social and positive young man who brings enormous joy to their family.

“He’s very appreciative and grateful,” she says. “He’s always been loving and I feel like anything I’ve given him, I get back.”

Building Independence, One Step at a Time

Over the years, Jenni and her family have worked hard to help Flynn develop as much independence as possible.

Today, he can shower himself, help prepare meals, unpack the dishwasher, assist with household tasks and manage many aspects of his daily routine. But like many adults with disability, he still needs support and guidance.

“There are lots of things he can do, but there’s still a lot of prompting, organising and supervision involved.”

A typical day can include helping with personal care, supporting meal preparation, managing medications, coordinating appointments, monitoring finances and arranging transport.

Because Flynn cannot drive and public transport is not accessible from where the family lives, getting to appointments, social activities and programs depends on Jenni, her husband, or support workers.

Then there’s the behind-the-scenes work that few people see.

Managing support workers, navigating the NDIS, communicating with service providers, organising assessments and ensuring support plans remain up to date all falls to Jenni.

“There’s usually not very many weeks where it all runs smoothly,” she laughs.

“It takes a lot of organising.”

The Hidden Complexity of Caring

One of the things Jenni wishes more people understood is how complex caring can be.

“I think people sometimes assume caring is just being there for someone,” she says.

“But you’re constantly learning. You have to understand medical conditions, therapies, medications, funding systems and support services.”

Over the years, Jenni has had to develop knowledge in areas she never expected.

When Flynn was diagnosed with epilepsy, she had to learn how to recognise seizures, respond appropriately, understand specialist advice and manage medication safely.

“You have to keep retraining yourself and learning new things.”

“It’s a very complex role.”

Jenni believes carers are often expected to become experts without formal training or support.

“Every caring situation is different, and the needs can change over time.”

The Challenge of Never Switching Off

When asked about the biggest challenge of caring, Jenni points to something many carers will recognise immediately: the constant responsibility.

“The stress and the worry are always there.”

Even when things are going well, there is the ongoing task of planning, coordinating and preparing for the future.

“It’s not just what’s happening today. It’s what happens in 20 years. What happens in 30 years.”

As Flynn has grown older, Jenni’s caring role has evolved, but it has not disappeared.

“I think some people assume that because he’s becoming more independent, the caring role goes away.”

“It doesn’t. It just changes.”

While many parents of similarly aged children are adjusting to greater independence, Jenni and her husband continue to structure much of their daily lives around ensuring Flynn is safe, supported and connected.

“Everything we do revolves around making sure Flynn has what he needs first.”

Balancing Caring and Full-Time Work

For many years, Jenni reduced her work commitments so she could meet Flynn’s care needs.

She worked part-time and took on relief teaching roles that provided greater flexibility.

Only in recent years has she returned to full-time work.

That transition brought new opportunities, but also new pressures.

“It is really hard to do a full-time job and be a carer because there just aren’t enough hours in the day.”

Jenni teaches Prep students while her husband works as a deputy principal. Both roles are demanding, requiring long hours and substantial work outside school hours.

When support arrangements fall through or appointments arise unexpectedly, carefully planned schedules can quickly change.

“It’s really difficult trying to fit everything in.”

The family often relies on detailed planning and strong communication to keep everything running.

The Joy of Watching Flynn Thrive

Despite the challenges, Jenni says caring has given her some of life’s most meaningful moments.

Central to that is her relationship with Flynn.

“My bond with Flynn is very strong.”

She speaks proudly about the person he has become.

Flynn is known for his kindness, willingness to help others and positive attitude. Family members, friends and community members regularly comment on his warm nature.

“We get so many compliments about his behaviour and how helpful he is.”

Those moments bring Jenni a deep sense of pride.

“It gives us a real sense of purpose.”

She also values the empathy caring has given her.

“It helps you understand what other carers and families are going through.”

The Importance of Real Support

Jenni credits disability support services, carers’ organisations and informal support networks with helping her family navigate caring.

The support Flynn receives through the NDIS has been life-changing.

“If Flynn didn’t have those supports, I wouldn’t be working full-time.”

Respite has also been incredibly valuable.

A few times each year, Flynn participates in respite programs that allow him to spend time with peers, develop independence and enjoy new experiences.

At the same time, Jenni and her family can rest, reconnect and focus on other aspects of life.

“It gives us breathing space.”

She says one of the most valuable lessons she has learned is that support needs to be practical.

While kind words are appreciated, tangible help often makes the biggest difference.

“Sometimes carers don’t just need praise. They need someone to say, ‘Can I help?'”

Whether it’s taking the person they care for out for an afternoon, helping with day-to-day tasks or simply creating space for carers to recharge, practical support can be transformative.

Advice for New Carers

Jenni’s advice for people new to caring is straightforward:

Don’t lose yourself.

“It’s important to keep doing the things you love.”

Whether it’s reading, running, spending time with friends or pursuing hobbies, Jenni believes self-care is essential to sustaining a caring role over time.

“Life gets really busy as a carer and those things can slip away.”

She encourages carers to maintain connections both inside and outside the caring community.

Keep the parts of yourself that existed before caring began, she says, while also seeking support from people who understand the experience firsthand.

“Connect with other carers. They understand what you’re going through.”

A Lifelong Role

If Jenni could change one thing, it would be greater recognition of the complexity of caring.

Carers are often coordinators, advocates, administrators, health managers, educators and problem-solvers, all while balancing work, family and personal responsibilities.

“It isn’t just about being available.”

“It’s a skilled role that requires constant learning.”

For Jenni, caring has shaped every stage of adulthood. It has brought challenges, sacrifices and difficult decisions.

But it has also brought purpose, perspective and a relationship with Flynn that she treasures deeply.

And while caring may look different today than it did when Flynn was a child, one thing remains unchanged:

“It’s still our number one priority to make sure Flynn is supported.”